Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
