Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize