I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
