I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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