I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do vagina's smell?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
