It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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