Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
