bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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