maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
