Whod you bang
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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