I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Small penises have feelings too.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
