i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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