i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize