I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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