that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
