I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
