we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't deserve a penis
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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