girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Too much gin, very little bucket
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
