You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
