Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
