YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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