The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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