i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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