you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
