Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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