Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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