They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
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I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
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I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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