There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
MIDGETS
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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