Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I met the friendliest cop last night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
