ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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