yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
please come you make the beer taste better
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
