His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
