i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
