i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
