I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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