I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
