I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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