Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish you could order shots online.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
