If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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