i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
