I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
