once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
