Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
