hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
