Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
