Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
