Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
