8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i dont even know how to be here
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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