I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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