dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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