never play flip cup with pint glasses
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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