I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think a kid would responsible me up
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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