you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
