I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
