You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
