thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
