i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
