she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
