Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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