Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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