I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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